Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
