peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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