first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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