it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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