Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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