just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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