That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
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Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
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He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.