And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
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The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
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Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!