my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.