I should be sponsored by Trojan
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked