I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.