I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize