I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
