So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
