Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
