He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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