a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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