Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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