He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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