She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
