Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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