You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
