So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
