I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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