I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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