I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...