Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.

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(908): We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends. http://tfl.nu/o9if

Replies (35) Good night (6093) Bad night (1529)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.

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(732): her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms. http://tfl.nu/9vdx

Replies (19) Good night (992) Bad night (3499)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.

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(608): I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her. http://tfl.nu/mczp

Replies (28) Good night (2827) Bad night (12314)
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(248): View more from Michigan

i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.

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(248): i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid. http://tfl.nu/t711

Replies (33) Good night (8974) Bad night (1251)
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(254): View more from Texas

oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick

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(254): oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick http://tfl.nu/vqpx

Replies (13) Good night (3585) Bad night (1148)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.

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(484): I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations. http://tfl.nu/uf69

Replies (7) Good night (3326) Bad night (879)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh

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(208): Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh http://tfl.nu/jb8q

Replies (19) Good night (3151) Bad night (1504)
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(989): View more from Michigan

I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.

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(989): I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it. http://tfl.nu/prf6

Replies (14) Good night (5150) Bad night (1078)
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(561): View more from Florida

u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring

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(561): u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring http://tfl.nu/ljb6

Replies (10) Good night (2906) Bad night (835)
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(773): View more from Illinois

in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.

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(773): in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already. http://tfl.nu/yc7m

Replies (9) Good night (1849) Bad night (674)
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(937): View more from Ohio

whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had

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(937): whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had http://tfl.nu/mht2

Replies (1) Good night (660) Bad night (410)
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(208): View more from Idaho

I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.

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(208): I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook. http://tfl.nu/vmgg

Replies (1) Good night (359) Bad night (577)
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(239): View more from Florida

The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.

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(239): The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die. http://tfl.nu/hid4

Replies (15) Good night (609) Bad night (1367)
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(818): View more from California

It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket

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(818): It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket http://tfl.nu/tfcl

Replies (0) Good night (445) Bad night (855)
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(707): View more from California

I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.

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(707): I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed. http://tfl.nu/sn1z

Replies (1) Good night (593) Bad night (237)

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