Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
