i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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