so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
