you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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