started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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