shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
