Already got asked if we're dating
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
