yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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