I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
