Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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