I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
