if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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