He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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