Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Randomize