it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
