his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
