I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
