I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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