So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
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And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
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Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize