I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
