dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
