shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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