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I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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