She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
