You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
