if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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