I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
