Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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