Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
