just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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