I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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