I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
