Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
