theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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