Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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